courage...

I have great admiration for those who can just open up and express themselves freely. I thought I was that type of person, but as time goes on I am learning that not only am I pretty shy (believe it or not) but I keep many things bottled up inside. Probably for fear of having to confront them, duh! isn't that obvious? Well, after I have seen the courage in other people to open up and express themselves (not just vent or complain) I have come to the conclusion that this would be a good forum for me to start this endeavor. Maybe, no hopefully I will learn more about who I am and what I want by doing so. So here it goes.....

Today I woke up just pretty blah. I haven't been called to work in over a week and I am beginning to think that I am no longer needed. I really have enjoyed getting out of the house and working around people again so to take it away (so I thought) brought much sadness to me. So much that I just wanted to be left alone to sulk in my sorrows.

Well today around 9:30 I get a call asking me if I can work Friday and Monday. Of course I jump on the opportunity and immediately feel a sense of worth again. Not long after that I get a another call asking about tomorrow too! Those two phone calls changed my mood so quickly it was an automatic lightbulb moment for me. I need to feel important in many ways. Not just as a mom, wife, sister, daughter or friend but as a contributor to life.

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I will never know but at the time being I at least know that while my kids are in school I need to work.

Thanks for listening! Have a great day!