what to think...

its hard to imagine life without my husband. when i think about it i get really scared and insecure. i know that i am a strong woman who could take on challenges but the comfort and love i have often makes me feel lost. after 15 years of being together one would think that there is a feeling of security, but sometimes i don't have that security blanket. i feel that i am not offering my husband what he needs to be happy therefore he turns to other things for that. how can i get over it and deal with this like an adult without sounding like a parent? i wish i knew. how come he can't think rationally about this? i guess what i am really asking is what can the computer offer that i can't? i know many people feel the same way i do, i just don't know how they get through it. we have two kids, boys at that. what kind of example is he setting? what does he say about relationships, love and the reality of it. i am so afraid that he is normalizing this in his boys eyes. internet porn/disgust is not reality. is this one of the many challenges i face because his dad was not around to be a good example? many times i get sooo mad at his dad for the lack of parenting and how it trickles down but at the same time my husband is an adult and needs to be accountable for his actions. he knows right from wrong! well i hope to work this out. i am not saying that i am going to leave my husband but in many ways i feel as though he's not here.